Gay and Lesbian Connection

The former poster child of the “ex-gay movement”renounced his controversial past beliefs in an email interview with PQ Monthly last week.

John Paulk, the former chairman of Exodus International and co-author of Love Won Out: How God’s Love Helped Two People Leave Homosexuality and Find Each Other, said he struggled with rejection all of his life and has been on a journey trying to understand God.

“Until recently, I have struggled all my life in feeling unloved and unaccepted,” Paulk said. “I have been on a journey during the last few years in trying to understand God, myself, and how I can best relate to others. During this journey I have made many mistakes and I have hurt many people including people who are close to me. I have also found a large number of people who accept me for who I am regardless of my past, any labels, or what I do.”

Paulk said he is now greatly remorseful for any harm that he’s caused by his words.

“I no longer support the ex-gay movement or efforts to attempt to change individuals — especially teens who already feel insecure and alienated. I feel great sorrow over the pain that has been caused when my words were misconstrued,” he said. “I have worked at giving generously to the gay community in Portland where I work and live. I am working hard to be authentic and genuine in all of my relationships.”

“For the better part of 10 years, I was an advocate and spokesman for what’s known as the ‘ex-gay movement,’ where we declared that sexual orientation could be changed through a close-knit relationship with God, intensive therapy and strong determination,” he said. “At the time, I truly believed that it would happen. And while many things in my life did change as a Christian, my sexual orientation did not.”

He added, “Today, I do not consider myself ‘ex-gay,’ and I no longer support or promote the movement. Please allow me to be clear: I do not believe that reparative therapy changes sexual orientation; in fact, it does great harm to many people.”

Paulk’s wife and Love Won Out co-author released her own personal statement on April 22, noting that the couple was in the process of divorce.

 

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Check this out:  10-year-old Girl Writes to President Obama About Gay Marriage — and He Writes Back

Imagine her surprise when she looked in her mailbox last week and saw that the President of the United States had written back to her. 
“In America, no two families look the same. We celebrate this diversity. And we recognize that whether you have two dads or one mom what matters above all is the love we show one another,” Obama wrote, “You are very fortunate to have two parents who care deeply for you. They are lucky to have such an exceptional daughter in you.”

“Our differences unite us. You and I are blessed to live in a country where we are born equal no matter what we look like on the outside, where we grow up, or who our parents are,” the President continued. “A good rule is to treat others the way you hope they will treat you. Remind your friends at school about this rule if they say something that hurts your feelings.”

Then he apologized for having missed dinner, and promised “to tell Sasha and Malia you say hello.”

“This is not about President Obama, it’s about what’s right,” Jonathan Bailey wrote on Facebook. “Thank you, Barack Obama — you have made one 10-year-old feel might special (and her two dads, too). “

 

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President Obama made history today when he mentioned both the Stonewall uprising and gay and lesbian people being treated “like anyone else under the law” during his second inauguration speech.  Check it out at:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/21/obama-inauguration-speech-stonewall-gays_n_2520962.html?utm_hp_ref=civil-rights

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A student comes out in an essay.  Check out this beautiful exchange between a teacher and student. 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/stacylambe/teacher-leaves-touching-note-on-students-coming-o

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Listen to Rachel Maddow’s piece about Jeanne Manford, Model for Parental Love.  It will warm your heart.  And if you haven’t been to a PFLAG meeting yet–go–and bring your parents!   

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/ns/msnbc_tv-rachel_maddow_show#50439148

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I does get better.  For an inspirational piece from the San Francisco gay men’s chorus and Stephen Schwartz that will touch your heart–go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XZRNL9ZnyM

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 PFLAG’s (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Executive Director, Jody Huckaby, issued the following statement regarding the US Supreme Court’s decision to grant cert in the Prop 8 case and to hear the USA v. Windsor DOMA case:

Parents and allies of gay and lesbian people know what the merits of this case are: ending the deep harm that is inflicted upon their loved ones each day as they are denied the basic right to marry. It is our hope that the Supreme Court listens to these merits and sees them for what they are — the very reasons why this case must be heard. This is a watershed moment, one that will give the Justices the opportunity to affirm—perhaps for the 15^th time—that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental right for all Americans, and that the denial of that right seriously harms our gay and lesbian loved ones, as well as their children. We look forward to a decision that will affirm marriage equality across the country.

 

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Sally Fields was awarded HRC’s Ally for Equality Award in Washington, DC. An excerpt from her speech:  “There are so many children who struggle to understand and embrace their sexuality in families who do not welcome them, with parents that somehow find it acceptable to shut them out their hearts and their homes, and that I find unacceptable.”

To hear more go to:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/08/sally-field-hrc-award-speech-gay-son_n_1948110.html

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California has become the first state to ban the use of so called reparative therapies for minors to “overcome “homosexuality, a step hailed by gay rights groups across the country that say the “therapies” have caused dangerous emotional harm to gay and lesbian teenagers.

Here’s what the bill says:  “This bill bans nonscientific ‘therapies’ that have driven young people to depression and suicide,” Gov. Jerry Brown said in a statement after signing the bill into law.  “These practices have no basis in science or medicine, and they will now be delegated to the dustbin of quackery.” 

We can change many things about ourselves—like the color of our hair, even the color of our eyes with contact lenses, and with plastic surgery we can change the shape of our nose.  But what we cannot change is our sexual orientation.  That is part of our fundamental nature.  And that is what reparative therapy groups have tried to do. The reality is if someone is gay, he or she is gay. No matter how hard you try, you can’t change a bird into a fish because you don’t like the song it sings. You might teach a bird to swim, but eventually it will fly; that’s what birds do.To purposely try to change someone who’s gay into someone who’s straight by attempting to change his or her natural sexual orientation is not only psychologically damaging, it’s downright Orwellian.

Legislators in New Jersey and a few other states have discussed introducing similar bills to ban the use of “reparative therapies” for minors.  

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October 15-19, 2012 is Ally Week

GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network) and students across the country,  members of Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) or similar student clubs, will celebrate Ally Week on Oct 15-19 in schools and communities nationwide.  For more information and to take the pledge to be an Ally online go to:  www.glsen.org.

What is an Ally?

Allies are people who do not identify as LGBT, but who support this community by standing against the bullying and harassment LGBT youth face in school.

Become an Ally.

Change Attitudes.

Change Behaviors.

Change Directions.

Change Lives.

Change Policies.

Change Voices.

Be an Ally.

Be the Change.

Homophobia can be the cause of a great deal of pain for LGBT youth who just want to be themselves.   For more information about homophobia go to www.restoftheway.com and read the chapter, “Effects of Homophobia.”

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