Gay and Lesbian Connection

Support and Acceptance for the Gay and Lesbian Community

Former Ex-Gay Leaders Join Movement To Ban Gay Conversion Therapy

August 1st, 2014 by Admin

“We all got together and said it’s time to produce a statement that is not a statement of apology, but a statement on our beliefs on how conversion therapy harms people.”

As advocates mount a national campaign against the practice, several former leaders of the ex-gay conversion therapy movement are now coming out in opposition to conversion therapy, or efforts to turn gay people straight, BuzzFeed has learned.

Nine former ex-gay leaders, from organizations like Exodus International and ministries like Love in Action, have signed onto a letter in partnership with the National Center for Lesbian Rights calling for a ban on gay conversion therapy and saying that LGBT people should be celebrated and embraced for who they are.

“At one time, we were not only deeply involved in these ‘ex-gay’ programs, we were the founders, the leaders, and the promoters,” they said in the letter. “Together we represent more than half a century of experience, so few people are more knowledgeable about the ineffectiveness and harm of conversion therapy. We know first-hand the terrible emotional and spiritual damage it can cause, especially for LGBT youth.”

The former ex-gay leaders, many of whom worked at organizations involved in the practice for several years, say they “know better now.” And many of the organizations they were involved in have shuttered or rebranded, like Exodus International, which very publicly announced it would shut down last summer. But gay conversion therapy is still practiced in many parts of the country, according to the NCLR.

Many of the signatories on the letter have previously spoken out against — and in some cases apologized for — supporting and advocating for gay conversion therapy. But for some included, it’s the most public statement they’ve made since renouncing the practice, like John Smid, who was a member of Exodus International and who served on its board for 11 years.

“We all got together and said it’s time to produce a statement that is not a statement of apology, but a statement on our beliefs on how conversion therapy harms people,” Smid told BuzzFeed. “We felt like we needed to make that statement.”

Smid said he experienced the harms of gay conversion or reparative therapy firsthand — enduring what he described as the damaging message that gay people are somehow “broken and sick and that they need to be repaired,” he said. Leading medical and psychological associations, such as the American Psychological Association, have discredited and criticized gay conversion therapy.

“In my own life, that message kept me trapped in a cycle of believing that I was emotionally ill and incapable of having a healthy life until those things are fixed,” he said. “For over two decades, I lived in that mind-set. That’s why reparative therapy is so damaging. That was the message that I received and that I taught in my involvement with Exodus and Love in Action.”

On Monday, Yvette Cantu Schneider announced via GLAAD that she is sorry for her work in the ex-gay and conversion therapy movement, “and is now fully supportive of LGBT people.” She, too, has signed on to the letter in support of banning gay conversion therapy efforts.

The former ex-gay leaders coming forward to unite in opposition the practice comes as LGBT advocates such as those at NCLR and other organizations are pushing for a movement against gay conversion therapy, including in state legislatures. Just this month, Michigan state Rep. Adam Zemke (D-Ann Arbor) introduced a bill that would ban conversion therapy for minors.

“This is about the civil rights of children,” Zemke told BuzzFeed. “A lot of children look up to adults and follow their advice blindly and innocently. They’re kids — they don’t know any better in some cases. As lawmakers, we have the responsibility to protect those kids from things proven to be harmful and this is no different. This is protecting the right for kids to be kids, whoever they are.”

Zemke said he is seeking support from lawmakers in the chamber, particularly among members of the Republican majority, to whom he points out that GOP New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie signed similar legislation into law just last year. Action or progress on the bill, though, likely won’t happen until later this fall, Zemke said.

However, recent efforts to ban gay conversion therapy for minors in some states have fallen short. Last month, GOP leadership in the New York State Senate blocked such legislation and in April, a similar bill was defeated on the floor of the Illinois House.

Either way, advocates and other critics of gay conversion therapy, hope to expand the debate over the practice coast to coast. The letter from the former leaders comes as part of NCLR ramping up its #BornPerfect campaign, which it launched last month.

“We are committed to protecting LGBT children and their families from the severe harms caused by these dangerous practices,” NCLR Executive Director Kate Kendell said in a statement. “These practices have been thoroughly discredited by every major mental health organization, and yet, every day, young lives are wrecked. We intend to stop the practices once and for all.”

Category: Acceptance, ex-gay ministries | No Comments »

An “ex gay” Poster Child No More

April 26th, 2013 by Admin

The former poster child of the “ex-gay movement”renounced his controversial past beliefs in an email interview with PQ Monthly last week.

John Paulk, the former chairman of Exodus International and co-author of Love Won Out: How God’s Love Helped Two People Leave Homosexuality and Find Each Other, said he struggled with rejection all of his life and has been on a journey trying to understand God.

“Until recently, I have struggled all my life in feeling unloved and unaccepted,” Paulk said. “I have been on a journey during the last few years in trying to understand God, myself, and how I can best relate to others. During this journey I have made many mistakes and I have hurt many people including people who are close to me. I have also found a large number of people who accept me for who I am regardless of my past, any labels, or what I do.”

Paulk said he is now greatly remorseful for any harm that he’s caused by his words.

“I no longer support the ex-gay movement or efforts to attempt to change individuals — especially teens who already feel insecure and alienated. I feel great sorrow over the pain that has been caused when my words were misconstrued,” he said. “I have worked at giving generously to the gay community in Portland where I work and live. I am working hard to be authentic and genuine in all of my relationships.”

“For the better part of 10 years, I was an advocate and spokesman for what’s known as the ‘ex-gay movement,’ where we declared that sexual orientation could be changed through a close-knit relationship with God, intensive therapy and strong determination,” he said. “At the time, I truly believed that it would happen. And while many things in my life did change as a Christian, my sexual orientation did not.”

He added, “Today, I do not consider myself ‘ex-gay,’ and I no longer support or promote the movement. Please allow me to be clear: I do not believe that reparative therapy changes sexual orientation; in fact, it does great harm to many people.”

Paulk’s wife and Love Won Out co-author released her own personal statement on April 22, noting that the couple was in the process of divorce.

 

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President Obama’s Letter to 10 Year old Girl with 2 Dads

March 3rd, 2013 by Admin

Check this out:  10-year-old Girl Writes to President Obama About Gay Marriage — and He Writes Back

Imagine her surprise when she looked in her mailbox last week and saw that the President of the United States had written back to her. 
“In America, no two families look the same. We celebrate this diversity. And we recognize that whether you have two dads or one mom what matters above all is the love we show one another,”
 Obama wrote, “You are very fortunate to have two parents who care deeply for you. They are lucky to have such an exceptional daughter in you.”

“Our differences unite us. You and I are blessed to live in a country where we are born equal no matter what we look like on the outside, where we grow up, or who our parents are,” the President continued. “A good rule is to treat others the way you hope they will treat you. Remind your friends at school about this rule if they say something that hurts your feelings.”

Then he apologized for having missed dinner, and promised “to tell Sasha and Malia you say hello.”

“This is not about President Obama, it’s about what’s right,” Jonathan Bailey wrote on Facebook. “Thank you, Barack Obama — you have made one 10-year-old feel might special (and her two dads, too). “

 

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President Obama’s Inauguration Speech

January 21st, 2013 by Admin

President Obama made history today when he mentioned both the Stonewall uprising and gay and lesbian people being treated “like anyone else under the law” during his second inauguration speech.  Check it out at:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/21/obama-inauguration-speech-stonewall-gays_n_2520962.html?utm_hp_ref=civil-rights

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Student’s Coming Out Essay

January 16th, 2013 by Admin

A student comes out in an essay.  Check out this beautiful exchange between a teacher and student. 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/stacylambe/teacher-leaves-touching-note-on-students-coming-o

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Rachel Maddow’s Piece about PFLAG

January 14th, 2013 by Admin

Listen to Rachel Maddow’s piece about Jeanne Manford, Model for Parental Love.  It will warm your heart.  And if you haven’t been to a PFLAG meeting yet–go–and bring your parents!   

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/ns/msnbc_tv-rachel_maddow_show#50439148

Category: Gay-Lesbian | No Comments »

It Gets Better

December 21st, 2012 by Admin

I does get better.  For an inspirational piece from the San Francisco gay men’s chorus and Stephen Schwartz that will touch your heart–go to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XZRNL9ZnyM

Category: Gay-Lesbian | No Comments »

MARRIAGE EQUALITY HEADED TO U.S. SUPREME COURT

December 8th, 2012 by Admin

 

 PFLAG’s (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Executive Director, Jody Huckaby, issued the following statement regarding the US Supreme Court’s decision to grant cert in the Prop 8 case and to hear the USA v. Windsor DOMA case:

Parents and allies of gay and lesbian people know what the merits of this case are: ending the deep harm that is inflicted upon their loved ones each day as they are denied the basic right to marry. It is our hope that the Supreme Court listens to these merits and sees them for what they are — the very reasons why this case must be heard. This is a watershed moment, one that will give the Justices the opportunity to affirm—perhaps for the 15th time—that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental right for all Americans, and that the denial of that right seriously harms our gay and lesbian loved ones, as well as their children. We look forward to a decision that will affirm marriage equality across the country.

 

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Sally Field Awarded HRC Ally for Equality Award

October 11th, 2012 by Admin

Sally Fields was awarded HRC’s Ally for Equality Award in Washington, DC. An excerpt from her speech:  “There are so many children who struggle to understand and embrace their sexuality in families who do not welcome them, with parents that somehow find it acceptable to shut them out their hearts and their homes, and that I find unacceptable.”

To hear more go to:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/08/sally-field-hrc-award-speech-gay-son_n_1948110.html

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California Bans ‘Reparative Therapies’ for Minors

October 7th, 2012 by Admin

California has become the first state to ban the use of so called reparative therapies for minors to “overcome “homosexuality, a step hailed by gay rights groups across the country that say the “therapies” have caused dangerous emotional harm to gay and lesbian teenagers.

Here’s what the bill says:  “This bill bans nonscientific ‘therapies’ that have driven young people to depression and suicide,” Gov. Jerry Brown said in a statement after signing the bill into law.  “These practices have no basis in science or medicine, and they will now be delegated to the dustbin of quackery.” 

We can change many things about ourselves—like the color of our hair, even the color of our eyes with contact lenses, and with plastic surgery we can change the shape of our nose.  But what we cannot change is our sexual orientation.  That is part of our fundamental nature.  And that is what reparative therapy groups have tried to do. The reality is if someone is gay, he or she is gay. No matter how hard you try, you can’t change a bird into a fish because you don’t like the song it sings. You might teach a bird to swim, but eventually it will fly; that’s what birds do.To purposely try to change someone who’s gay into someone who’s straight by attempting to change his or her natural sexual orientation is not only psychologically damaging, it’s downright Orwellian.

Legislators in New Jersey and a few other states have discussed introducing similar bills to ban the use of “reparative therapies” for minors.  

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